istoleyourpanties:

quarterclever:

especiallygoodfinder:

nepeter:

australians dont have sex

australians mate

I spat out my coffee

sorry about your image

frICK

(via m3gababe)

(via ecooli)

(via upstateblues)

Anonymous asked: At what age did you lose your virginity?

rubyreed:

I never lost mine, I just absorb other peoples’, making my virginity grow stronger and stronger in preparation for the final battle. 

sorrydeer:

I moved these lil guys off the concrete and put them back into the bushes

(via upstateblues)

adultnapped:

isn’t it creepy that from the day you are born you start to die

(via sextnoise)

bagmilk:

when your waiter comes out with food but it’s for another table

image

image

image

(via sextnoise)

catbountry:

Tiny kitten demonstrates expert throat-slitting technique. Nature is amazing.

(via sextnoise)

(via unperceptible)

bertdey greeting

I loev u yaneh happie borndey 2 dat cutest crossbreed op panda & bulldog i don kurr ip u call me bully bacos dazz mah loev por u but i swear im gonna get u a guinea pig idek when ples don eat it wen u hab it oreadyy i kno theyre cute but ur butt is da cutest.

u kno i wanna marry ur cheeks bacos gorg ebur but u look severely ugly w/o ur cheeks it just scares me and i kno im not cool bacos im only room temp im so sorry ip not cool ples lam me

i remember d sausage simile u wrote i jus pel in lam more wd u bacos ur d saltiest homie ever poreber & ip we stay 2gether we stay porebs bacos salt preserbs d sausages and idek wer im goin now

i loev u and i crie ur a bigger gurl nao i just :((((((((((

happie borndey i wish u dem hot pizzas and huge burgerss and a successful career and medals and honors and laughters and more followers i loev u so mats

-Velociteyaraptor